No mans land

Every one has his or her own place in office. The big bosses hv their rooms, the aam junta cubicles, the receptionist has the lobby, the blah blah blah. But if there is one place which belongs to noone and everyone is the lift. Its a really funny place to err..hang out.

Based on the lift mentality, there are 3 kinds of junta in office. First are the "oh-look-at-me-I-am-so-health-conscious" ppl who swear by only the stairs. Second are the "I-will-move-only-at-the press-of-a-button" ppl who will die before climbing the stairs
and third are the ppl like me "who-prefer-the-lift-but-dont-mind-taking-the-stairs". Anyway, everyone of us gets into the lift at some point of time. And unknown ppl r thrown into each others company, forced into a tiny enclosure with high levels of close physical proximity much to their dislike.

-> Case 1: No one knows anyone
So what do u thn? Its considered rude to stare at each other. But with ppl stepping on each others toes, there is nothing more u can actually do. So ppl follow a carefully crafted recepie of staring at the display without blinking, seeing their feet making intersting patterns on the floor and putting their faces up at the fan with their eyes closed faking the deepest meditation. I do none of these. I stand at an alcove and observe ppl doing all sorts of funny things.

-> Case 2: Some one remotely knows another
Yeah. They will hv some remote common thread. First they will smile at each other, nod and then start the most irrelevant conversation ever.
"So, is Jeff still in ur project?"
"Jeff?"
"Jeff Paddington! He used to sit next to my friend who worked in ur project for 15 days."
"Oh he was in my previos project! I heard he left the company after the product crashed, joined our competitiors and then came under a bus and died"
"Oh cool !"
It doesnt matter who Jeff is, where is is, what he is. What matters is tht both of them somehow thing he could be a link they could cling onto before they get to their floor. I am sure that if they meet each other some time later in the life they wud hv the same conversation.

-> Case 3: Every one knows every one
This is the worst scenario if ur alone in the lift and it is attacked by a whole army of ppl from the same team. The easy peace is shattered by hundred voices richocheting off each other generoulsy peppered with shreiks, a load of giggles and conversations. And then sudenly get off at some floor to let you to your peace in the lift again. Its like a sudden downpour tht lasts for only a cpl of minutes, drench every one caught off guard onthe road and disappear.

->Case 4 : The mobile ringeth!
Whatever happened to "I am in the lift. I shall call u back in a sec!". No Sir! First the silence has to be shattered with some bizzare ringtone so loud that the guy in the next lift should get startled. I get to hear all stories from 'how Vidya lost 5 kgs in 3 weeks via VLCC' to 'wht Ravi is going to cook for dinner' and from 'why SAP is the in thing now' to 'how websphere is hogging the middleware market'. Seriously, hv ppl lost public sense?

->Case 5: The ride with the celebrities
Its not daily that you get to meet the who's who of ur company. And when they do get into ur lift u curse urself for wearing floaters and jeans to office that day. Every one tries to look as professional and focussed as possible. I had the chance to ride with our country HR head and the was I was dressed that day , I was jst hoping he wouldnt ask me if I was working in the pntry or somthing. The next level of celebrities are the HR females who would never bother to stop and look at you otherwise. In the lift they hv no ther option. So I had my fifteen seconds of fame when I managed to talk to one of them. It doesnt matter if all I said was "Can u press the 6th plz" and got a pretty smile in return. What matters is tht it was only the life that gave me the opportunity I otherwise wouldnt hv got!

Life is amusing with so much happening happeing in and arnd the lifts. I am thankful tht lifts dont hv a mind of their own! Cant help but think of Zaphod and the lift at the Heart of Gold.

Marvin	Hello Lift.
Lift	(Soft muzakky sort of voice) Hello. I am to be your elevator for this trip to the floor of your choice. I have been designed by the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation to take you, the visitor to the Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, into these, their offices. If you enjoy your ride which will be swift and pleasurable then you may care to experience some of the other elevators which have recently been installed in the offices of the Galactic Tax Department, Boobiloo Baby Foods and the Sirian State Mental Hospital, where many ex-Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Executives will be delighted to welcome your visits, sympathy and happy tales of life out in the big wide world.
Zaphod	Yeah? What else to you do besides talk?
Lift	I go up or down.
Zaphod	Good. We're going up.
Lift	Or down.
Zaphod	Yeah, ok, up please.
Lift	Down's very nice.
Zaphod	Oh yeah?
Lift	Super.
Zaphod	Good. Now will you take us up?
Lift	May I ask you if you've considered all the possibilities that down might offer you?

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What more can I say? thodi si to "lift" karade!