'Train'ed to travel

I go out to stand near the door. I have always loved standing at the door of a moving train. It gives a feeling unmatched by anythign else. I love the wind hoing in my ears, hair spraying all over my eyes and watching the whole world pass by as a dream. I feel good. I feel alive.

I hold the bars at the door tighter as the speed picks up. The dull suburbs of the city make have made way to teh green fields of the country side. Lazy cows scatterd over the grass, sleepy shepards under the solitary tree, an old pickup truck fighting the muddy roads.......I try to capture everything. Every scene, every whisper, every turn.....I feel time stands stillin such places. Or is it becasue I am moving at sucha high speed? I dunno. In many way, I think our lives are like train jouneys. We start at some station, some with tickets some ticketless, hoping to reach a place we have never seen before. Which compartment you get into depends on which part of the society you hail from. You meet so many people on the way, pepole whom you know, whom you dont, some whom you wud love to know and many more you better ignore. When the train starts you are all so excited, the thrill of the speed gives you such a high, the rush of blood in our heads eggs those wheels to move faster.....Its all so much fun. You live those moments, enjoy it to the hilt.....but after a while one gets different thoughts.

You look at the monotany of the train and then look up at the open fields outside. You feel like pulling that chain and running out to the picture perfect farms. You want to feel the wet grass under ur bare feet. Stray ur eyes to see the lush outfield merge into the azure sky at a distance. A lonely tree stands between u and the horizon. Graceful birds form a brilliant pattern as they swoop down to the lake....U want to be there and live the moment. But you cant! Because the train doesnt stop at ur whims and fancies!! The train is meant for everybody. But its not fair! I
dont want to keep running all my life in search of a place I have yet seen. Sometimes I just want to step back and enjoythe silence of life. Why should I travel in the stupid train? Why? Why cant i jsut walk along the tracks? I can then walk at my own pace, not the pace society wants me to moive at. I can travel at whichever time I like to. I may want to travel when the early mornign sun is kissing th virgin clouds or when the faint moonlight is caressign the still waters. Not at the time the world wants me to move! And I want to choose my own tracks, not the tracks on which I am supposed to take. So what if my tracks lead to a dry waterland or a cacading waterfall? Its my choice to tracel where I want to.

A group of enthusiastic travelers are singing at the top oif theirt voices behind me. I cant concentrate on it. It just drifts in and out like a breeze. The train gradully slows down , chugs into a remote station. Some people get out and some get in. But I am still at the door wondering where I am heading. I sigh and look down at my deet. The ground beneath is moving as a fast blur. But my feet are right there...right there and immobile. What a paradox. You feel you are reachign places in life,but in reality you are just standing where you started. Should I blame the train?

I dont know when my destination will arrive. I dont know if I will like it when my destination arrives. I dont know if I will travel alone or find someone along to share the rest of my journey with. I dont know if I will get bugged of all this running and get down at some random station to make my own path. I dont know. I dont know anything. But, I am on my way.....